A Test of Faith- The loss of a loved one
Firstly, I would like to apologize for not posting in a very long time. The past two months have been filled with the highest highs as well as the lowest lows. Looking back at the few years I have spent in hospitals, rotating through countless blocks I have experienced many touching moments but the one aspect that I will never get completely accustomed to is that of people dying. Whether it is me hearing about a patient passing away in the night or actually seeing it first hand in the trauma unit, I am still left slightly shaken. This was made a reality for our family in November as we excitedly awaited the arrival of my gorgeous nephew, baby Joshua, but God had different plans. We didn’t get a chance to meet him as God called him home just a few days before his due date.
Never before has my faith been shaken than on the day I received the dreaded phone call that he did not make it. All I could say to Jesus was: “Why baby Joshua?” and “Why do this to my family Father?”
As I asked these questions and continued to pray for answers my favourite bible verse suddenly popped into my head and that was Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. And in that moment it all made sense. Not only did that verse apply to my whole family and I, but to baby Joshua as well. Yes, I do question God at times but what gives me the greatest comfort is that he knew what his plan was. We may not see it immediately but it will definitely be revealed in times to come. I know that Baby Joshua was going to be welcomed into a home filled with unconditional love and comfort but he is now in the arms of Jesus who’s love is unfailing and is the greatest love anyone could ask for.
This significant moment in life will forever be imprinted in my mind and not a day goes by where Joshua does not enter my mind, but what gives me the greatest comfort is that I will definitely get to meet him one day and we shall all be reunited.
This song was played at Baby Joshua’s funeral and it got me through each day
"God I Look To You" Bethel
God I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed Give me vision to see things like You do God I look to You, You're where my help comes from Give me wisdom; You know just what to do I will love You Lord my strength I will love You Lord my shield I will love You Lord my rock forever All my days I will love You God