Love in technicolour
Have you ever found yourself walking somewhere and seeing an interracial couple holding hands, walking around blissfully unaware of the stares you give them as they pass you? I am guilty of this, purely because I look in wonder at the beauty of such a sight. Well, being in your own interracial relationship is no different. I knew all along that there would probably be pros and cons to getting into such a relationship but only fully understood the implications (both good and bad) through my personal experience.
Kagiso and I have been dating for 2 years and 10 months now and it has been the most interesting experience. Staring from passers- by have become a normality, although it took some time getting used to. Most of the time it seemed innocent but what people were really thinking would occasionally cross my mind. Were people looking in disgust or in approval? I will forever remember the moment when we were shouted at by an old man in Xhosa as he did not agree with the fact that Kagiso was walking with and holding my hand. Initially I was taken aback and a bit startled but I realised that his response was warranted. Looking at South Africa’s past it is understandable that he was outraged at the fact that a young African man was holding the hand of someone who had the same skin colour as the person who dragged many people through streets, beat them and prevented them from living a prosperous and free life. Whilst researching interracial relationships I found a multitude of stories from both South Africa and the rest of the world of people defying the status quo and following their hearts. To think that in America and South Africa there were things such as the Racial Integrity Act and the Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act. People were forced to pursue relationships in hiding or even run the risk of their doors being broken down by police in the middle of the night to arrest them because of the “horrible crime that they were committing”. Although this happened it is inspiration to read about couples who who fought against this form of oppression and were victorious.
But there is a certain beauty that lies within interracial relationships. There is so much to learn about each other’s cultures, beliefs and practices. I find the most joy in learning all about Kagiso’s family and their traditions. Bringing children into this world who get to experience and integrate with both sides of the family, is the greatest gift I think we could ever give to them. Teaching them that every racial group and all cultures have great significance and meaning to every person that they will interact with in the future. That although you will look different in comparison to everyone else, we are all the same. I know that these dreams for my own family seem tangible but I hope for the same but throughout South Africa and the rest of the world. How beautiful this country would be if we all took the time to get to know and understand each other’s values, beliefs and cultures. As the years go by I hope that our children and their children will no longer look at interracial relationships as a rarity but as something that is proof that the country is moving forward in a positive manner and where everyone accepts each other for who they truly are.